The Ken Blog


Alright, folks.

In response to the deluge of e-mails, phone calls, texts and ill-advised attempts to get past the electrified fences, attack dogs and leggy, gun-wielding vixens that protect my property, I have decided that the best way to reach out to my demanding, sometimes physically agressive, audience is to do so directly in the form of what many internet insiders call a Blog.  Essentially, it’s an ongoing written account of one’s thoughts that can be posted directly to a page on the World Wide Web and can be updated fairly easily and frequently, should one wish to do so.  Really, when you consider it, not a bad idea.  Might catch on, who knows. 

So it is that I now address you in that manner in an attempt to answer the avalanche of questions I’ve been getting about my whereabouts and intents.  As many of you know already, I have been holed up in my Northeast Compound in Hooksett, New Hampshire for some weeks now.  What have I been doing here?  What are my thoughts about the dramatic events that are shaking the foundations and very fabric of my homeland even as we speak?  Am I dating anyone new?  All these queries, as well as the myriad of rumours swirling about in various media circles, shall be addressed here over time, if you, my loyal readers, will bear with me.

So.  First things first.

Let me state without qualification that the home website for The Ken Socrates World News Organization,, has not, in fact, been taken over by rogue elements in an attempt to forward some insidious agenda for world domination and/or impress chicks, as has been reported.  True, early in 2008, a janitorial assistant did lock all staff out of the offices for a 24-hour period during which he gave the website what he called “more of a disco feel” in order to gain favor with members of a local sorority but the incident was short lived and additional security measures have been instituted to prevent such a takeover ever happening again.

That said, it is true that my own presence at the site is not what it has been in the past, as you may have noticed.  Having taken the time over the past few weeks to consider this and the  demands that my new writings will surely have upon my time, I feel confident that now is the time to announce that I have handed the editorial reigns of the site to one Gorman Moloko, always my second in command and closest confidant over the years, whom I have now given the official title of Vice President and Managing Editor of all things KSWNO.  There is no one more qualified for the job and, in these uncertain times, having a man with such unquestionable moral fiber in charge of such an influential  media outlet is utterly essential, I believe.  Gorman will run things with an unflinching eye on all the most relevant social and political issues of our times, ever vigilant, demanding and conscientious.

As longs as he doesn’t get too maudlin and continually go on about David Tennant’s impending departure from Doctor Who, that is.  Snap out of it, Gorman!  Shit happens.

Anyways, keep visiting there as there will be plenty of new stuff under Mr. Moloko’s direction, including new stories from yours truly, Ken Socrates as well as Dr. Horation Von Darkfaulker, Joe Hawaii & Gaylord “Ra” Fondue, Dwight Cooter,  Stamford Buckforth Pimplton III, Chippy McGuinness and a myriad of others.

Meanwhile, if you want the updated word directly from the horses mouth (or ass, as the case may be) drop by here from time to time and I’ll try to keep you informed about What’s Going On.


Stay Tuned.


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3 Responses to “The Ken Blog”

  1. Ozzy McGurt Says:

    Ken, you little weasel, I always knew you were a candyass deep down. What nightmare have you created this time that you feel the need to hide yourself away? Is Esther trying to kill you again? You didn’t go and actually knock up some teenager like you always said you wanted to? You’re a sick bastard Socrates. The world is probably better off with you hidden away out of site. Unfortunately, now is not the time to hide, my friend. The Dems are taking over. Now is time to stand and fight. They want to take our guns. They want to kill our babies. They frown on things like late night drunken speed runs through downtown with bullets flying left and right. They want to take away all that we hold sacred.

    You got any extra room in there? My recently purchased AK-47 may come in handy. C’mon. You and me Ken. Just like old times. Whatdya say?

  2. Ken Socrates Says:

    This is what I love about you, Ozzy. You assume that just because I once kicked Mike Dukakis in the balls that I must be a Republican. You still think that time we set Mitt Romney’s arboretum on fire was just another great edition of Prank The Mormon.

    No, I’m an independent, equal opportunity hater of all things politic and party has little meaning to me. To me, the whole election was little more than an extended job interview where we needed to just pick the best guy to do that damned job.

    Which is why I voted for Obama.

    Jesus, I hope you’re not in town when you read that. The good news is, when you do come to town we can hang out and party, now that Massachusetts has relaxed the weed laws.

  3. Joe Hawaii & Gaylord "Ra" Fondue Says:

    Please remove me from your mailing list. Thank you.

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